A Mental Block
by DayLightDove
Summary: Despite being one of the most powerful of magic users, Fai is unable to use any type of healing magic. While it seems it is simply due to his abilities not falling into those skills, Kurogane refuses to believe this. Perhaps the real reason he can't use healing magic is because everyone has always told him he can only bring harm and destroy. But Kurogane knows better and shows him.


**Ok so this is my first Tsubasa fic. There will be more to follow, most likely.**

 **So just to let you know, this idea came from the fact that I find it hard to believe that Fai can travel more than once through dimensions, even with only half his magic even if Mokona helped with that one, yet he can't do a simple healing spell? Yeah, so this was born!**

 **So, feel free to review or anything else!**

 **Onto the one-shot!**

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Kurogane glanced towards the sound of Fai as he came to sit next to him in the main room of their current home. He watched as the blonde sighed as he sat down, his hand reaching for a glass to share in the sake that Kurogane had happened to stumble upon in this world.

"Kid finally asleep?" Kurogane grunted out as he drank from his own glass.

Fai sighed. "Yes. He was so tired that he fell asleep as I was bandaging him up. Mokona wanted to stay with him." He smiled ruefully. "Honestly, it would be nice to come across world where he didn't have to fight anything."

"That would be a pretty boring world, then."

"Kuro-tan should find other hobbies than drinking and fighting." Fai teased, a wide smile crossing his face. "Daddy doesn't want to be a bad influence on his kid, does he-GAH!" Kurogane smacked the mage on his head, making the other wince at the hit.

"I told you to stop calling me that!" Kurogane growled.

"Ow! That hurt Kuro-sama!"

"Kurogane!" The black haired man growled one last time before he turned away from his smiling companion. There was a few seconds of silence between the two of them before the larger man sighed himself. "What is it?"

"What do you mean, Kuro-pon?" Fai asked innocently, tilting his head as he looked at the other. However, this only granted him a knowing glare which caused the mage to wilt slightly. "Ah, Kuro-sama always does have a strong sixth sense, ne?"

"Don't dodge the question."

"Ok, ok!" Fai chuckled, holding up his hands in a surrendering gesture, hoping to placate the warrior. "It's just, I can't help but wish I could do more for Syaoran, you know? The poor child has to fight so many battles, and all I can do is defend against or attack those attacking us. I just wish I had the ability to heal him, even just a little, so he could have some kind of relief after the battle."

"Didn't you just do that, idiot?" Kurogane huffed raising an eyebrow at the mage.

"I meant with magic, silly Kuro-chin!"

"Alright, then do that."

"..." Fai stared at Kurogane with wide eyes, confusion coloring the blue orbs before he broke out laughing, his hand falling his his stomach as he laughed so hard.

"Oi!"

"S-Silly Kuro-sama!" Fai spoke through his laughter, attempting to get it under control. "Daddy apparently hasn't been listening to mommy. I can't do healing magic, remember?"

"Can't, or won't"

"My, my, I didn't know you had so much faith in me! Or is it little faith...hmmm." Fai hummed before shaking his head. "Either way, it doesn't matter. If I could use healing magic, then I would have been using it already."

"Then why don't you?"

Fai's hands clenched on his lap as he tried to keep from showing his frustration, the smile on his face now straining to remain in place. "Weren't you listening? I can't do healing spells. I'm touched that you have so much faith in my abilities, Kuro-chin, but you need to understand that mages can't do every type of magic. There are the spells that come easily, and then there are the spells that are impossible to do because you just don't have the ability to do them. Healing is something I don't have the ability to do."

That's right, because he can only master attack magic, not healing. He can only ever destroy. If not, he would have been able to at least master one of the simpler healing spells that he had studied, but Fai cannot even do that. Clearly, the gift of healing was never meant to belong to him.

"I don't believe you." Kurogane's voice broke Fai from his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"I said, I don't believe you."

"Well, I don't know how else to change your mi-"

"You expect me to believe," Kurogane cut in with a sharp voice. "That you don't have the skills to heal even the smallests of scratches, yet you can travel across dimensions more than once-something that even the most powerful magic users cannot even do easily?"

"Well, I'm sorry that my magic is strange like that." Fai shrugged, not knowing how to answer the other.

"..."

"...What?" Fai was put off by the way Kurogane kept staring at him, his red eyes barring so strongly at him Fai was positive he could have died if it had been what the warrior wished.

"Have you tried?"

"Healing spells?" Fai asked with a tilt of his head and let out a chuckle. "Obviously, or else I wouldn't know for sure if I couldn't do it."

"No, I meant recently. Have you tried at any point when you started using your magic again?" Kurogane asked, crossing his arms.

"Well, no. Why would-OW! Kuro-pu~!" Fai cried as he rubbed his head from where he had been hit once again by the taller male. "Why did you do that!?"

"Idiot, you won't be able to improve if you don't practice." Kurogane huffed.

"I have practiced!" Fai shot back, irritated by the fact that Kurogane doesn't seem to be picking up on what he has now explained many times. "This is not a situation of the spells being to complicated for my magic and skill! If that was the case, I would have already mastered them! You said it yourself, I can do spells that even the most powerful of magic users can't do! Yet I can't heal a single scratch!" Fai took a deep breath, calming himself down from the years of frustration and sorrow boiled over in his words. "I can't heal, Kurogane."

Kurogane's eyes flashed at the use of his unchanged name, picking up the severity of the situation. He sat once more in silence for a few seconds, watching the blonde mage take a few calming breaths as his own blue eyes were closed in concentration. The warrior was very aware of what the mage was arguing, but he refused to accept it, not when he's seen what Fai can do, even when he only had half of his magic.

"Do you remember any of the spells you studied?" Kurogane asked.

Fai opened his eyes and stared curiously at Kurogane, not understanding where the conversation was going. "...yes? A few of the simpler ones since they were easier to remember. Why?"

Kurogane didn't answer. He only stood up and walked towards where he had placed Ginryu for the time being. "Do you know one to heal a cut?"

"Kuro-sama what are you-Wait, stop!" Fai shouted, shooting up from his own seat when he saw what the taller man was doing. He wasn't fast enough, though, and had to watch as a cut opened from Kurogane's wrist just as it had done when he needed the red liquid to survive.

Kurogane turned to face Fai after resheathing his blade, his arm dripping blood as he moved. He walked back to stand before the shocked mage, the other staring down in horror at the wound.

Kurogane held his injured wrist out to Fai, the mage flinching back. "Well? You won't get stronger if you don't practice."

"I said I _can't!_ " Fai screeched, his blue eyes wide in horror at the actions of his companion. "What will this prove?! This is pointless, Kurogane! I can't help this! I can't heal!" _'Only harm.'_ The stray thought followed his words, making Fai clench his fists. Years of trying learn magic within this area spoke of this. Sure, he didn't know just attack spells, the dimension traveling and vision spells he had performed show this, but that doesn't mean these spells aid someone. The words of his birth country rang in his ears, reminding him of how much his presence has cursed people in the past. It would only make sense if his magic couldn't heal.

"Oi!" Fai's head snapped up at Kurogane's voice cutting through his own thoughts. "You won't learn anything if you don't try, I thought you already knew that, idiot. Besides, even if your magic doesn't work, that doesn't mean you can't help. I thought you were past those silly lies."

Red eyes met blue, each staring into the other and passing on a silent conversation. It was Fai who broke contact first with a small laugh, eyes closing as a gentle smile came upon his face. This wasn't the first time Kurogane has brought up 'silly lies' to the mage. To most who knew them, it would seem like the black haired male was merely making sure that Fai wasn't attempting to lie his way out of his problems again, but the magic user knew that a majority of the times when these words were spoken were when thoughts of the past overcame his mind. Fai took it as Kurogane's way of saying that what everyone has told him in the past doesn't matter. It was Kurogane's way of showing he cared.

And even if it wasn't, well, Fai still used it as a way of pulling him back to the present.

Kurogane raised an eyebrow, knowing fully well of what had been going through his companions head (he has learned how to read Fai quite well after all this time they've spent together) and spoke. "Well? The blood won't stop for a while unless we do something."

"Kuro-pu is an idiot." Fai gave a shallow chuckle as he raised his hands to hover over the wound. "He should take better care of himself and not make such rash decisions. It will be a bad influence on our child."

"I think you should stop stalling."

"Right, right." Fai replied before focusing on the wound.

Taking a deep breath, he thought way back to when he spent day after day trying to cast a simple healing spell, the words of the magic engraving itself into his mind. Letting out a shuddering breath, preparing himself for the disappointment that was sure to come, he began to write the enchanted words in the air above the wrist. With a flick of his own wrist, Fai allowed the magic to fade into the wound.

Taking his hands away, Fai watched as the wound stayed the same and, even though he was expecting it, couldn't help but feel a small pain of disappointment. He couldn't deny that Kurogane's hope in his magic sparked a small flame of hope in his own heart, even when he had fought against it. It was just, Fai wouldn't have mind seeing the evidence that he really could help someone with his magic the way he had always wanted to, the way everyone had said he wasn't able to do.

Well, everyone except for Kurogane and Syaoran...and Mokona and Sakura and...the other Sakura and Syaoran and...and Ashura-o. They had all shown him he could help others, that he could actually be with people and that he was actually wanted.

A soft, real smile graced his lips as he pictured all of these people within his closed eyelid, not even knowing when he had closed them.

"Oi, mage." At Kurogane's voice, Fai opened his eyes and looked at the the other. Gesturing with his head towards his wrist, Kurogane's actions pulled Fai's gaze back down to the injured arm-

Injured?

No, there was now almost no sign of the previous wound save for a very small nick in what would have been the middle of the wound. The magic worked. Slowly, sure, but it still worked! Something that had never happened before.

"H-How…" Fai gasped out, feeling his eyes tear up from the sight.

"See," Kurogane huffed. "I knew you were just being stupid. You should know you'll never get stronger unless you practice."

"B-But...I could never...I did but...and yet...h-how?!" Fai scrambled for something to say, but he couldn't take his eyes away from the now completely healed wrist. His hands shot out and grabbed Kurogane's wrist, making the other cry out protest to the sudden grasp but didn't pull away as Fai turned the appendage over and over, trying to find any sign of the wound.

"It worked." The mage gasped out. A smile broke out on his face, eyes shining from the new discovery. "It worked! Kuro-chin, it worked! My magic healed you! I healed you!" Fai's eyes were bright with joy as happy laughs left his lips. Seeing such a pure look of happiness on his face, Kurogane couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his own lips in return.

Suddenly Fai gasped, jumping back from Kurogane and looking back to the door that held Syaoran and Mokona. "I'll be right back Kuro-tan!" He called as he dashed for the door.

"Oi! Don't overdo it!" Kurogane shouted after the blonde, but he knew that the mage had not listened, too overjoyed to have successfully healed something for the first time in his life. He knew that Fai was now going to try to do everything he could to help Syaoran heal from his wound, and he also knew that he would need to follow after Fai if he was going to make sure the mage didn't overuse his magic or something along those lines.

Shaking his head, Kurogane sighed but the smile remained. "Idiot mage. He should know better then to let his past continue to affect him so much."

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 **Ok so that was that. I hope it was ok! Also, look another one of my one-shots that have hurt and comfort! Yeah, I have issues.**

 **Anywho, feel free to comment or anything like that!**

 **Until next time! :D**


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